Human Chow


Human Chow Fried Bread

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
—Henry David Thoreau

 

Why make it:

There is something to be said for a simple, easy to make, reasonably nutritious, moderately palatable, low-cost food.  If you need to be convinced, you won't be.

How I made it:

Some time ago, as a poor student, I realized that boiling macaroni for a really long time wasn't the answer to meeting basic nutritional needs on a budget.  Unable to recall seeing any 50# bags labeled “Human Chow” at the local supermarket, I decided to make my own.  I made a list of readily available dry goods I could mix together, wrote a program that knew the weight, cost, and nutritional breakdown of each, and started fooling around with various proportions of each to design something better for humans than Ramen or loaves of day-old French bread and Pork’n Beans.  With a bit of baking powder added, the mix could be fried or baked.  I fried up 3-4 cakes for breakfast, saving one or two for later.  Sliced, one made a sandwich for lunch, and one, crumbled up with a stew/bean/etc. topping, made for dinner.  Occasionally I baked up several bread pans, crumbled everything after cooling, then spread on sheets and baked until dry. This could be eaten as a dry cereal, or, with a bit of extra seasoning, made into a cheap snack food.

It occurred to me that if cows were as stupid as humans and had the means to provision themselves with any food they wanted, they would regularly wade into green alfalfa fields (grown for this purpose) and founder themselves into a state of utter obese misery.  Maximizing palatability was not one of my goals, so spare me any complaints about human chow not being as tasty as gourmet offerings.  Optimum palatability should be adjusted so you eat enough to avoid excessive weight loss, while not being so palatable that you overeat.

Should you eat only human chow everyday forever?  No.

 

 

Ingredients

Calories

Cost $

Cost/serving

Weight (g)

Cost/package (2009)

2 c. Enriched white flour
1 c. Whole wheat flour
1 c. Corn flour (Masa)
1 c. Cornmeal
1 c. Quick Oats
1 c. Powdered milk
1 c. Mashed potato flakes
¾ c. Sugar
¼ c. Baking powder
2 tsp. Salt

880
455
440
442
300
240
210
577
25
0

0.24
0.12
0.21
0.21
0.27
0.62
0.22
0.15
0.38
0.03

0.027
0.013
0.024
0.023
0.03
0.069
0.024
0.017
0.042
0.003

120
120
121
122
80
68
56
143
55
35

2.29/5 lb/2.26kg
2.79/5 lb/2.26kg
3.99/4.4 lb/2kg
2.89/5 lb/2.26kg
3.99/42oz/1.19kg
6.59/25.6oz/726g
3.04/28oz/794g
1.88/4 lb/1.81kg
1.89/10oz/283g
0.69/16oz/453g

Total

3569

2.45

0.28

920g (2 lb)

 






Oil (1 tbsp/serving) Canola

120

 

0.05

28

4.99/48oz/1.41kg

Eggs (1/serving)

70

 

0.12

70

1.39/12/840g

Total

   

0.45

   

 

Toppings

Calories

Amount

Cost/serving

Weight (g)

Cost/package

Applesauce
Jam (Grape)
Peanut butter
Syrup
Honey
Margarine
Gravy, milk
Gravy, water

50
100
190
200
120
180
215
175

8 tbsp
2 tbsp
2 tbsp
4 tbsp
2 tbsp
2 tbsp
12 tbsp
12 tbsp

0.17
0.16
0.16
0.25
0.31
0.05
0.17
0.12

123
41
32
59
42
28
 
 

1.99/50oz/1.41kg
1.99/18oz/510g
3.99/28oz/793g
4.49/36oz/1.06kg
8.49/40oz/1.18kg
0.69/16oz/453g
 
 

 

How to make:

Ingredients
2 c. Enriched white flour
1 c. Whole wheat flour
1 c. Corn flour (Masa)
1 c. Cornmeal
1 c. Quick Oats
1 c. Powdered milk
1 c. Mashed potato flakes
¾  c. Sugar
¼ c. Baking powder
2 tsp. Salt

Stir and store. Makes 9 cups. 1 cup/person/meal; 396 cal/cup (516 calories including oil, 586 calories with 1 large egg; with ½ cup applesauce add 50 calories and so on).

For fry bread: Add 1 c. mix and ¾ c. water to make a batter that will slowly pour from mixing spoon—thicker than pancake batter. Add an egg if desired. Add 1 tbsp oil to a skillet, heat, then spoon the batter (divided into three cakes) into the skillet. Fry on medium heat until the tops loose their shine, turn and fry other side until brown. Cover while cooking to help the cakes get done all the way through. Cakes are about ¾ inch thick. Serve as is or with a topping. Applesauce is a good choice, or try jelly, peanut butter, syrup, butter, honey, gravy. Fry more for lunch or dinner; slice for sandwiches or crumble and top with beans, vegetables, or what have you.

You can also add chopped fruit or vegetables to the mix before cooking. Onions and bread, the staple of ancient Egypt, go well together. Carrots, apples, peppers, and whatnot can be added. Try one part dry mix and one part chopped whatever.

For baked bread: Bake in a pan, cool, crumble, then dry to make a dry cereal. Add extra seasoning (like Creole Seasoning) before drying to make your own snack food.

The following images can be clicked on to see the big picture.

1cupadd watermixfry
One cup makes a lot.
Add 3/4 cup water.
Stir to make a thick batter.
Spoon into 3 cakes.

tilnotshinyturnservewithother
Flip when top not shiny.
Fry other side.
Three if you're hungry.
Two may be enough.

caketopping lunch
Save one for later.
Try different toppings.
Lunch

Small cakesSmall done

7 small ones.
These have apple inside.

 

 

COUNTRY GRAVY:

1/4 cup margarine/oil
1/4 cup flour
1 ½ cup water (or milk or vegetable stock)
Salt and black pepper

To prepare gravy, heat oil in frying pan over medium heat. Add flour, stirring to make a browned paste. Remove from heat, whisk in fluid stirring constantly until smooth. Reheat, bring to a boil, and cook, stirring for about 3 minutes until thickened. Add salt and pepper to taste. Makes 1-2 servings. Cheap calories, good for heavy labor—not a diet food.