Taoism = Shit happens.
Confucianism = Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism = If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen = What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism = This shit happened before.
Islam = If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Sunni = If we do shit to Shiites, it is the will of Allah.
Shiite = If we do shit to Sunnis, it is the will of Allah.
Judaism = Why does shit always happen to us?
Christianity = Christ died for your
Catholicism = If shit happens, you deserved it.
Evangelicalism = Shit happens—praise the
Televangelism = Send money or shit will happen to you.
Mormonism = Shit happens to
Animisim = Spirits make shit happen.
New Age = Visualize no shit happening.
Rastafarian = Smoke that shit.
Atheism = There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism = Maybe shit happens...maybe not.